Journal Entry {Perfection}

Journal Entry 2_8_17

Have you ever had something you know someone else needed to hear but you were to scared to share it? Yeah? Me too, here it goes:

 

I know this isn’t anything crazy BUT its something that eats away at me at times and can really drag me down.

You see, I’m not perfect.

I know you all are ready to run away now, not because your surprised or appalled but because your thinking ‘is that all?’ Yep it is, and its hard for me. Don’t get me wrong, I don’t actually think I can be perfect, I can’t. I know that. Still…I try;

I try to keep everyone happy.

I try to balance it all even tough I know I can’t.

I try to keep organized, and fail.

I love the theory of minimalism, but I have too much stuff.

I’m a health and fitness coach, who is gaining weight and eats too much sugar.

I’m a Christian who doesn’t spend as much time in the Bible as she should.

I’m a mom who yells… and cries.

I’m a selfish friend.

I lead more than I follow.

I talk more than I listen.

I fear things I shouldn’t.

I could go on for a while, but I’ll just stop there before I get depressed….oh that is another one I struggle with depression. ANYWAY…with the social media showing everyone in their perfect put together worlds with just the right lighting and angles, its hard to accept reality sometimes. I catch myself taking ‘do-over’ shots of a moment or cleaning up my room before taking a picture (ok is it really so bad that social media is encouraging me to clean?)  instead of recognizing that life is great the way it is.

Perfectionism is a struggle for me. For now my goal is to just improve, to acknowledge in the moment that it doesn’t have to be perfect. My friend doesn’t like me any less because my house was a mess when she stopped by last night. I want to be able to move on when I get stuck in the cycle of chasing perfection. Life is hard enough the way it is I don’t need to add one more thing to the pile.

I don’t have all the answers but I have a few things I do when I notice I’m starting to throw myself a pity party:

1. Take a break (coffee and sunshine anyone?)
2. Find something uplifting (hello music.)
3. Play!  (breakout your new coloring book.)
4. Open a window.

How about you? Do you struggle with trying to be ‘perfect’?

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