Thoughts on Thursday {Self Care is not selfish}




Monday I wrote about how refreshed I was feeling after taking some time for myself this past weekend….I guess I took my own advice when I wrote this post last week.


Self care isn’t just for Mom’s or care-givers, EVERYONE needs to practice self care to some degree, if all you do is give you simply won’t survive, at some time you will break….trust me, I did.

10 years ago I didn’t really believe in self care, I survived 4 years of cancer without any problems (however it could be argued I was getting some self care because Mark didn’t require much extra effort until the last few days of his life.) After his passing I got by, but I wasn’t doing anything truly focused on healing, I did attend a grief group but there was no connection with the other people in the group (the ciriculem was great, the group I was in, not so much) so a lot of it was talk and not a lot of change.

I continued on with life the way I always had, focused on pleasing others, and about 1 month before Mac and I’s wedding I fell apart. For several months I felt broken, anything and everything would make me cry, I missed several days of work because I just couldn’t bare to leave the house and I was just generally insecure.

After a bit I started with some therapy, went back on anti anxiety meds, and got my brain back on track but to this day I’m still ‘weaker’ than I want to be. This is one of those head vs. heart things. In my head I know being ‘weaker’ is a good thing because its forcing me to take care of myself, however my heart still desires to make everyone else happy.

So I’m trying, running is the easiest way of self care for me. It seems like even if I’m not trying my brain just processes through things while I’m running, my body gets the physical outlet it needs and my spirit is refilled. Even in the midst of the city the trails and nature comfort my soul. However I’m not running now, and I’m struggling. I’m focused on Apple and Mac and I’ve allowed myself to become dependant on caffeine a few days a week because of poor sleeping habits. I have the knowledge that this isn’t good but I can’t figure out how to solve it. Mac is working evenings so I can’t leave Apple with him and go rest, the house needs taken care of so I fell like there is no time for a break.

How do you practice self care when there is limited time?

2 comments on “Thoughts on Thursday {Self Care is not selfish}

  1. Schedule one thing per week, during a time that no one needs you, that will make you happy. Coffee out, the craft shop, a class, whatever makes you happy!

  2. Big hugs to you, Amber. I don’t have any answers or advice to share since I’m stretched pretty thin myself these days with the kids and everything. But I do agree that self care is important and sadly something we moms tend to forget when we’re trying to make sure our kids and our husbands are loved and taken care of.

    I think a good support system from your husband is really important. I know women who are in the same boat as me but their husbands aren’t as understanding and don’t understand how their wives can’t just take care of household stuff and the kids without complaining when they don’t have a “real” job. It’s tough when your partner doesn’t understand how you need to be taken care of too and not just provide care. I’m lucky and Jason sees how worn out I am these days and how I need to get away to rejuvenate myself. I have yet to take that offer to get away for a solo overnight trip but I will do it just to recharge myself and to find my own bearings again. Sometimes we need to be able to take care of ourselves in order to become better partners and parents.

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