Today is my 2 good friends anniversary, 10 years… This has me thinking a lot about marriage and how peoples perspective on it have changed, even in the last 10 years.
For those of you who don’t know I was married once before, when I was just 19 years old. Mark and I had a great marriage that only ended because of cancer. However that isn’t the point of this post, the point of this post was at that time people were scared of 2- 19 year olds getting married because we couldn’t possibly understand the life long commitment we were getting into. In our 5 1/2 years of marriage we experienced more life than many people married for 30+ years. We dealt with school and work for the first 2 years, then ‘normal life’ of just work and bills for about 4 months, then cancer for the last 3 years of our marriage.
Remarkably I had a number of people shocked that we stayed together. That the stress of life and cancer at such a young age didn’t destroy us, but to be honest that was never even a consideration. Our faith kept us strong and we worked together as a team through everything. We fully understood the commitment we made to one another and breaking that was never even a consideration.
Fast forward to 2009 when Mac and I got married, it’s a different ball game now. People get married and break up just because. Marriage is an excuse for a party not a life long commitment. Listen closely here, I do believe there are some very good reasons for marriages to break up, I get that some relationships just need to end. I will NEVER judge someone for being divorced, NEVER. That being said I strongly believe that many of these marriages should have never happened to begin with. Other relationships may have worked out, if they had been approached with a life long commitment in mind, not just the fun of marriage.
As my mom likes to say marriage is not 50/50 its 100/100 each person must give it their all during the good and the bad. Long term marriages are not free of the bad either, don’t think ‘oh they made it 30 years because they had it easy.’ Some of the strongest marriages I know of made it through some very hard stuff life changing illnesse and adultery are 2 off the top of my head, these 1 couples fought for their marriage and are truly stronger now than they were before.
As Mac and I approach 5 years of marriage I can’t help but wonder how much this new perspective on marriage is going to influence us. How outside forces are so easy to say just walk away instead of work on it. Mac and I are both blessed to have parents with this perspective on marriage and they have both gone through some pretty rough stuff. I want to be and example for Apple and Gummy Bear so they can look back and realize how lucky they are to have parents that were a great example of what marriage should be.
What do you think of the worlds perspective on marriage today?