Pity Parties are a ‘natural’ part of life and as long as they are relatively short and contained they can be harmless. However, most of the time they tend to be long and drawn out, we feel like we are in the right and we take it out on those around us. Even if they ain’t the root of the problem, or maybe they are the current single issue but we decide to bring up every bad thing they have ever done to defend our point.
That is the main thought for this week. Your spouse can and will mess up, it might cause you to have a little pity party that is fine. However don’t let this pity party suck you in and drain you. Don’t let this pity party become bigger than it needs to be and cause a problem between you. Talk open and honestly about the problem and that’s it. Don’t bring up every past indiscretion, that isn’t playing fair.
Having 2 people upset in the house is just going to make things worse. I’ve noticed twice recently that I’ve handled this badly. I was right in the middle of a pity party and then Mac did something that upset me (relitivly minor things) both times I tried to just ‘keep my mouth shut.’ I think I should have approached it differently though I should have addressed the issues and then closed the subject. For me that would sound something like this. “I am upset about ______ however right now I’m struggling not to bring up a lot of un-related things and that isn’t fair so I just need to take a few moments to myself.
Not only does this let the other person know what is going on, it gives you both a chance to process before you talk about it. Plus its way better then then saying I”m fine, when we all know your not.
As we learned on the playground way back in elementary school, play nice, and don’t drag others into your pity party.