Personal responsibility is one of those things that I’ve seen less and less of these days. Nothing is ever my fault, there is always someone or something else to blame. I stuck my hand in a moving lawn mower and it got cut off, they should have warned me. Really?!?! Someone needs to tell you not to stick your hand in a machine that is made with the sole purpose of cutting things?
I know that is an extreme example, however how about things like this:
- I don’t know why I’m gaining weight.
- It was the policeman’s fault I got a speeding ticket.
- My teacher didn’t explain the homework correctly.
I could go on and on but that would make a very boring and annoying post. Lets take the speeding example, ummm nope not the cops fault you were speeding, you probably always do, and today you got caught. That isn’t the policeman’s fault, its yours. Pay the fine, accept the insurance points and slow down. Now if you obey the speed limit it won’t happen again.
This isn’t just a day to day life concept this is true in marriage as well. If your un-happy in your marriage I challenge you to take a moment and figure out why. Is it something that you can change? Do it! Is it something that you should talk to your spouse about? Don’t expect them to read your mind, talk to them. I’m not saying everything is your fault but I am saying that your responsible for figuring out the why and taking action, no one else can tell you why your un-happy.
On the flip side, if you mess up own it! Its hard to take responsibility for what you have done that hurt your marriage but its the right thing to do. Not every circumstance ends up working out, that is life in our imperfect world. However you have a much better chance if you admit your wrong and correct it.
I can nag…this drives Mac crazy! I mean really it would drive anyone crazy lets be honest. Sometimes I feel justified in my nagging, sometimes I just want things done, now. Either way nagging is not the way to handle the situation, it NEVER helps, not to mention it just makes Mac annoyed or mad and that is my fault. That is not my goal and I need to change what I’m doing to avoid that. I need to be direct in my communication. Instead of saying over and over ‘we need to do _______’ or ‘we need to leave in 20, 15, 10, 5 min’ I should be direct. “I would really like to ______ before we leave it would make me feel much better could you help me?” “I really don’t want to be late for dinner with your parents, could we try to leave a few min early?”
I’m working on it 😉