When expectations differ in your life it can be a big point of contention. This is true with work, kids and your relationship with your spouse. This is one reason in my opinion it is a great thing to know each other’s love languages, so that when you are trying to show your spouse how much you care you can do it in a way that they will understand. If your love language is words but your spouses is action, you can talk till your blue in the face but it won’t have as much affect as one simple act. If your way to express love is action but your spouses receptive way is gifts again you will never actually share your love for them in a way they can fully take in.
Based on the popular book “The 5 Love Languages” are Words of Affirmation, Acts of Service, Receiving Gifts, Quality Time, Physical Touch. When I first looked at this list I could see a few things right away I thought would be me. But then I took the assessment and when given only 2 choices per question I had to really decide which was more important to me for example a question may be “I wish my husband would give me small thoughtful gifts more often” or “I wish my husband would hold my hand in public.” In this instance I choose hand holding, and found that in the end, Physical Touch was my second highest rank love language. My first was Acts of Service…it surprised me at first but once I thought about it, it really wasn’t a surprise at all. In fact just Tuesday I came home to a picked up kitchen, vacuumed house and dinner being started. I’m sure those 3 things took him a little time maybe an hour or so but it meant the world to me and I could have cared less if he spent the rest of the day making mud pies.
Even if you don’t have time or the desire to read the book (I actually haven’t) I encourage you all to take the short quiz on the website to see what your love language is. Then make sure you know what your spouses is as well and start working on ways you can show them love in their language. If their way is forgin to you, maybe their top priority is the last one on your list, ask them how to do it. If its gifts ask what kind how often that kind of thing. If its words, as what they would most like to hear
Marriage is work I’ve said it before, but as my parents and in-laws have shown me if you work on it you can have an amazing relationship.