Last year for Christmas Mac got me a beautiful ring/earring set, its a cocktail ring if you will not a everyday ring and because of that he dosen’t see it very often on me. Which leads to the problem, this summer we had an out of state wedding to attend and somehow during the travels it went missing. All of the other jewelry I took made it home but not that ring. I kept thinking since everything else came home it would show up some where but it didn’t. Instead of telling him right away I gave it some time since ‘it would be a while till I had a chance to wear it again.’ Well two days ago it all came to light…and I felt awful. I felt bad that I lost it and I felt bad that I kept it a secret.
After everything calmed down (meaning I stopped crying) and we talked, Mac told me that of course he was upset I lost his gift he was more upset that I didn’t tell him. There in lies the rub as they say. I hurt him twice, and I hate that! I will do everything in my power to never do that again. Now am I saying if I lose something I’ll tell him that minute, probably not I will look for a day or two just to make sure but then I’ll tell him, not months later.
There are reasons for secrets, surprise parties, gifts, its truly not the right time (you know what I mean not just using that as an excuse.) But most of the time secrets are just to protect yourself and when it all comes out later its twice as bad.
It’s ok. I threw the Tiffany necklace Seth gave me when we got engaged!
I’m glad that you guys worked it out in the end. I think it’s okay to keep some secrets as long as that secret won’t hurt your significant other when they find out about it.
I recently found out a really big secret that Jason kept from me for over 3 years and although I was a bit irked because it felt like he didn’t trust me enough to share the secret with me, I was fine because he had good reasons to keep it a secret from me. Plus, the secret didn’t have any major impact on me so I was okay with it.
Most of the time, Jason and I do our best to not keep secrets from each other. It’s just easier to get the hurt, anger and frustration, etc. out from whatever happened than to keep it hidden and then get even more upset later. But sometimes, we make decisions on what to hide from the other person that ends up biting us back in the butt. As I see it though, it’s all part of the learning process of being a married couple. We make mistakes and we learn from them and that allows us to grow closer as a couple.