Every year seasons change Fall is here and Winter is fast approaching and just like every other year we are anticipating that change and preparing for it. Windows are covered in plastic, the mower is put away and the snow blower is pulled out (at least in the Midwest.) Its getting colder, darker and a little dreary all over the USA. Some love it, others hate it, but that is the amazing world we live in.
Life is the same way we go through seasons that are all hopefully preparing us for the next one. Infancy is fully dependent but as we grow and learn and move away we become independent. At some point we are in a serious relationship and we become dependent again, not in the same way as infants but dependent none the less. Then as we progress new jobs, new homes, someone is sick, we possibly become families and the seasons change again bringing up the next generation to do the same. The seasons of marriage very alot from marriage to marriage.
A lot of these season changes tend to be the weak points of marriage. A new job isn’t what you thought it would be, an illness becomes a disease, the renovations on the house are too much work, the new baby is causing friction. Some of these things we see coming and we can prepare for them together (stocking up food for a blizzard anyone?) but others hit out of no ware and we have no time to prepare. But before that happens we should talk about the possibilities. I’m not suggesting we all become glass 1/2 empty kind of people but I’m suggesting we “stock up” just in case.
Talk about the what ifs and make a plan to the best of your ability here are just a few I suggest you cover:
- What if one of you loose your job?
- What if one of you gets cancer?
- What if you come into alot of money? (trust me this can be a blessing or a problem depending on how you handle it.)
- What if you can’t have children? (I’ve seen this strengthen marriages beyond belief and rip them apart)
I’m not saying harp on them, I’m not saying even talk about them for any length of time but I am saying address them as they become possibilities so that you aren’t caught off guard. Maybe work is federally funded (like mine) and they are talking possible cuts, don’t just ignore the possibility talk about it. If your ready to start your family, talk about what happens if it takes longer than you thought or if you can’t.
Then move on, don’t stay stuck in your what if state, talk about it form a plan if necessary and then move on with life!