Thoughts on Thursday: Lessons from a sitcom

A lot of sitcoms these days are awful, funny, and entertaining yes, but as far as learning lifes lessons like we did from Family Matters and Full House umm no.

One of the worst things in my opinion is how they portray marriages. Yeah I’ll just stop myself right there I could go on for a while. However I’ve been watching a new show and generaly speaking their portral of marriage is great. Then smack in the middle of a silly episode I hear this gem of a quote:

“I understand, those are your feelings and you have every right to them.” ~Mike from Last Man Standing season 1 Episode 15 “House of Spirits” (15:45)

They were said genuinly and without judgment it was honestly to me it was amazing.

Lets face it boys and girls are different (if you haven’t figure that out by now…) we process differently have different emotions and try to problem solve differently. We need to accept those differences as part of a good relationship.

I know my husband means good when he tries to ‘fix’ my emotions/problems/whatever. But sometimes I don’t need something fixed maybe it can’t be fixed I just need someone to validate my feelings. I know sometimes he dosen’t understand my fears when for all practical pourposes they are irrational. But I love that 99% of the time he accepts them anyway because they are mine.

He is still learning how to show that acceptance but I know that is what he is trying to do when he is ‘fixing things’ I honestly wish people, not just married people,around the world would learn from this little quote above. You don’t have to get it, you just need to know that is affecting them and that makes those emotions valid, no matter how irrational 😉

On the other hand I as the girl in this relationship need to understand that he just isn’t going to get somethings the way I do and when he is trying to help/fix/whatever that is his way of trying to validate my emotions. This like everyother part of a relationship is a two way street.

2 comments on “Thoughts on Thursday: Lessons from a sitcom

  1. So we were taught a great simple thing to help know what to do when someone (your spouse in particular but anyone really) is telling you their feelings and you aren’t sure how to respond. Ask them “sympathy or solution?” Meaning do you want me to just listen or do you want help.

    Sometimes it’s hard to “not help” – something may seem so obvious to you, but it’s not to the other person. However, if they are not ready to hear it, they are not ready to hear it and it won’t help. I’m still learning this one. It takes practice!

    In a marriage you can just start your “conversation” with “I just want sympathy on this one…” which can help your mate our tremendously! 🙂

  2. It’s interesting that you quoted that line because I’ve heard something similar from my sister when she works on disciplining her kids and it’s something I’ve started using with E. I think it’s in our nature to want to fix things when people are upset/emotional/etc. I’m guilty of doing that too. I’ve learned from both Jason and E that sometimes just acknowledging their feelings and then just let them be goes a long way than trying to fix the problem since it can make things worse.

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