I know that if you have read my story you know that I’ve been married once before. I was ma rried to Mark when I was 19 years old it was great, we had a wonderful time. 2 years into the marriage He was diagnosed with cancer. After a 3.5 year battle he passed away on Dec 10th 2007. What you don’t know is that the reason he passed away was because the cancer spread to his lungs and caused a fluid build up that caused stress on his lungs. It was a peaceful passing in our living room with myself , his parents and our dog in the room.
Last week I found out that my friend and Pastor (who married Mac and I and was so helpful to Mark and I) had his cancer come back, in his lungs. This is causing the same early symptoms that Mark had when this was found. The great news is there have been many great advances in the last 3.5 years and the doctors have more options now than they did with Mark.
The bad news, well its cancer, and its scary and those options aren’t guaranteed. He has a family, Wife and 3 kids. What a scary time for them. Many people say they can’t imagine how it must feel, but I can….I really can. I know how much it hurts to see your husband in pain and you can’t do a darn thing about it. I know the all to real fear of losing your husband far to soon. I know the frustration of doctors and waiting for answers. I understand the pain of the what if’s and whats next.
I don’t like it, I don’t like that they have to go through this and I don’t like reliving this myself . I’m having a hard time right now. I know I need to ‘get over it’ but as we all know its never that easy. Its a hard thing for my new friends and Mac to understand. Not because they don’t care just because they weren’t there.
So yeah I’m gaving a hard time right now, but as always writting it down has helped so thank you all for reading .