So I was listening to the radio the other day and they had an author on. The book was “Stop Calling Him Honey and Start Having Sex: How Changing Your Everyday Habits Will Make You Hot for Each Other All Over Again” by Maggie Arana and Julienne Davis. I’m not sure this is a ‘deep’ book per sae but it seems to be practical.
No I haven’t read this book, but when she was talking she had some good points. The umbrella point was pretty simple. Your spouse is more than just a roommate and if you treat him/her like one your marriage will be affected. Humm good point.
I didn’t get to listen to the whole interview but I liked the points she made before I got out of the car. Calling your spouse a ‘pet name’ especally gender nutral ones make us forget who they are. This is also a problem with calling them mommy or daddy they are not your daddy and we don’t want to think of them that way, talk about a mood killer.
They also talked about closing the bathroom door, I know we are all saying gross of course but I’m guessing most of us are guilty of this once in a while.
So what do you think?
6 comments on “Thoughts on Thursday: Roomate vs. Spouse”
I hear ya! I’ve been thinking lately that while it’s nice that my husband and I are all comfortable and companionable, what happened to wearing nice nighties pretty much every night???? Your post sorted through my thoughts–treat him like a husband, not a roommate. 🙂 thanks.
Interesting thoughts. I’ve heard this before, but I have to admit that I’m guilty of the whole “roommate” thing. And yes, Jaime, I’m right there with you as well. I’ve got a couple of books in my TBR list that seem to fit this theme: To Love, Honor, and Vacuum, and Honey, I Don’t Have a Headache Tonight. Definitely something to consider.
As a wife of 29+ years I’ll tell you this is a topic worth thinking about. You need to be comfortable in your marriage relationship day to day. You need to know you do not “have to” impress your spouse. BUT, because you love them you need to treat them like the husband/wife they are to you. So I believe all of your comments are valid no matter how long you’ve been married or how many children you do or don’t have.
I also think you need to think about your humor. We often slip into joking about things that can quietly insult your spouse. I often hear “it’s all in fun” but I also hear lots of hurt feelings.
I think that it is nice to act like you are newly dating once in awhile. Take that bit of extra time to shave your legs or send an email that has nothing to do with groceries, the kids or bills.
I’m guilty of using pet names with Jason too 🙂 However, I do call him by his name a lot. Oh, and I definitely refuse to call him daddy unless I’m referring to him as “dada” when talking to E. It’s just a little creepy calling him “daddy” otherwise. Coming home and witnessing the relationship between my in-laws make me want to buy them this book since they are pretty much just roommates these days instead of spouses.
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