Following up with last weeks post I would like to give a few pointers about how to fight fair. These are all things we have heard before but its always good to hear them again.
- Assume they have the best intentions.
- Don’t go into a fight swinging, go in with the goal of improving your relationship in some way.
- Understand that something you may not view as a problem or offensive may be to your spouse and respect that.
- Try to keep your voice at a ‘normal’ volume
- Don’t bring up past unrelated ‘wrongs.’
- Talk about things as they happen, not when they become a repetitive problem.
- Choose your words carefully, don’t attack the person, talk about the action or the problem itself.
- Remember silence is as bad or worse than yelling.
- Avoid generalizing use specifics.
- LISTEN
Good pointers. I am one who waits until it’s repetitive and then becomes frustrated with it, all the while he may not even know that it bugs me. I’m working on that one.
So true! I went through training, thanks to my company, on what they call “State of Mind.” This reminds me of what they discussed through a lot of the training. The big thing they talked about is how we are in charge of our reactions and our feelings.