What am I supposed to do/feel/behave?

Today is June 15th, 8 years ago today Mark and I were married. Wow 8 years that is crazy. Problem is I don’t know how I’m supposed react today. When I first realized what it was I teared up, now I just have this unsettled feeling in the pit of my stomach.

My Mom has it right :

“Today, 8 years later, while it is important in our lives, that day is done. Our lives are different – totally different and we are better for it, all of it.”

Here is what is true for now this is all I know:

1. I miss Mark

2. I love MAC, he has been so supportive, so understanding about all of this.

3. Live is good, sometimes hard but good.

4. I am sure of my salvation and none of this ‘stuff’ changes that.

Enjoy heaven Mark, enjoy being healed. I do miss you but I would never want you here, in pain.


*Click the My Story tab at the top for more about this.*

3 comments on “What am I supposed to do/feel/behave?

  1. I miss Mark, too, but he wouldn’t want to be here in that condition. Unless of course he really could have become tumor man and fought crime by shooting tumors at the bad guys. Anyway, yes- life is different, but it is still good. And God has blessed you with TWO wonderful men in your life.

  2. Amber, I wish I had read this blog earlier. I would have given you a great big hug at work. It’s okay to hold onto the memories of the past- they are part of the beautiful person you have become. I’m glad that MAC understands this and is supportive of you in these hard times. Extra hugs sent your way. You are in my prayers!

  3. Awww….you really are an amazing person, Amber. I have so much respect for you for having loved and lost someone like Mark and then finding the courage to find new love with Mac. *hugs*

    Hugs to Mac too for being such a wonderful husband and loving you unconditionally 🙂

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