I think many of you know my story but if you don’t click here for a quick catch me up.
I know this post is a little scattered. There is so much I wanted to say but I tried not to write a novel.
Our faith before Mark got sick was solid. We were both raised in the Church but we weren’t forced into anything we both believed and were challenged by the word. When I was 16 I took a 3 month mission trip to Honduras the rocked my world. Mark had deep and true Bible knowledge (history of the whys and wheres) that made me jealous and was a challenge to me. We both lived out our faith daily but after he was diagnosed, we both became very outspoken in our faith. In the words of Mark :
“Amber and I will keep living one day at a time and trusting in God to guide us through this trial, all the way to the end. I will be cured, if it will be with earthly life or with a new body in heaven, that is up to God. My hope is in the Lord.”
That really says it all…to be honest from the beginning Mark and I felt that the Cancer would be the end of his life here on earth, we just didn’t know when. Here is one of my quotes:
Thank you for all of your prayers and e-mails of support we really appreciate it. We know that we have a mighty God controlling Marks future but it is good to know you all are petitioning on his behalf. THANKS!
We were simply praying for God’s will. It was so clear to us that the only reason were able to stay strong was because God was our strength. I’m not saying there wasn’t bad days there was, but over all we kept positive.<br>
Anyway back to the point. It seems like If this tragedy in my life has ever affected my faith it has been now, after Mark passed away. When he was sick it was clear that I wasn’t in control but now I’m trying to control everything, instead of leaving it in God’s hands. God and MAC are helping me with this and I seem to be calming down.
One of my biggest fears after all this was anything doctor related, however last time I went to the doctor my Blood Pressure was normal PTL!
A while back we (Mark and I) were asked about doubt and if all of this caused doubt in our faith. Our answer was this, “Why would Mark getting sick cause us to doubt in God. The faith we have in him is that he loves us so much that he sent his Son to die for us, to die for me and my sins. The fact that Mark got sick doesn’t change that basic fact. No matter how bad life gets nothing will change the fact that He died for me.
Stay strong in your faith. Don’t let the worries of today take away the truth of Christs love.