A very confusing day.

For those of you who don’t know I was married once before. My first husband passed away from cancer in 2007. For more about that you can read my story.

Today would have been Mark’s 27th birthday. That made it a very confusing day for me. Its hard when you have 2 men in your life and you miss them both. My husband is away in business and won’t be back for a week and Mark is up in heaven healed. MAC (that is what I’m going to call my husband from now on) is great. He understands about Mark and even got to meet him once before he passed away, but still what do you say? I miss MAC and I miss Mark today too. I’m not sure what to even write its so confusing but for some reason I really wanted to share.

My dad called me today and said something pretty cool, he told me that he thinks the post-mark woman is a lot cooler than the never met Mark woman ever would have been. He is right, Mark taught me so much about being independent and strong. He taught me about my faith and how to truly love someone. He taught me how to work hard and take pride in what you do. Without all of these things I wouldn’t me the woman MAC fell in love with.

So thanks Mark thanks for making me in to the woman I am today. Thanks for changing my life. I know this isn’t the way we planned but I honestly wouldn’t change a thing. How many people are blessed enough to marry their soul mate twice?

MAC thank you so much for understanding this confusing time, thank you for loving me even though its more complicated than ‘normal.’ Thank you for being here for me and for loving me just the way I am. Not alot of men could you are very special and I hope you know that.

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